My guess is that if you've found your way to this page then you've already exhausted the more traditional parenting styles of 'punishment and reward' and found that they're not working for you and your child.
The Aware Parenting approach was founded by Swiss/American developmental psychologist, Aletha Solter (Pd.D) - an internationally recognised expert on attachment trauma and non-punitive discipline. She has written 5 books, translated in many languages and her work has been described as potentially 'world changing'.
The system of collaboration, alternatives to punishment and building connection will help you raise cooperative, compassionate and competent children and is suitable for all neurotypes.
Probably, nothing. But, you may have a highly sensitive child and sometimes this is because they are autistic and/or experienced birth or early years trauma. Sometimes it can be attributed to genetics. Sometimes there's nothing obvious. So, the reason they're not listening to you, is not because they 'naughty' or because they 'won't', but perhaps they are struggling with emotional overwhelm. Whatever the reason, or whichever methods you've tried, you will not be judged or criticised. It's about what you do from now on, more than how you've managed in the past.
The first step is a change in mindset. You'll need to be prepared to be open-minded and see your child's challenging behaviours in a different light. That this isn't about you, but about you being their safe place when they become overwhelmed (one of the reasons teachers often don't witness the same difficulties you do). Together we will work through the strategies you've tried, explore what has and hasn't worked, before examining the possible reasons behind the successes and failures. we will look at alternatives that create greater understanding and connection for your and your child.
For younger children (usually under 8s) part of the process could also involve aspects of Child/Parent Relationship Therapy, (CPRT) which is an evidence-based play therapy model based on the belief that a parent can act as an agent for change in-place of the therapist. This model is particularly suited to online work.
For autistic children (including Pathological Demand Avoidance - PDA), our work together could include helping parents devise routines and planners or strategies for managing daily life, or looking at the best ways to create a secure, low-demand/low-arousal environment.
But, I would suggest the best way to find out if this type of therapy can help, is to get in-touch and we can talk through what is happening for your child and explore ways we can help.
ABC Children's Therapy
TA9 4HJ, Highbridge, Somerset, England, United Kingdom
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